Was wondering if you could ‘rewrite’ portions of this into a better version that flows a lot more concisely. I’d like to stick with my ideas of femininity and compassion, as well as the extracurriculars I currently mentioned. I’d also like to keep the ‘patchwork jeans’ idea because the metaphor is close to what I want to convey.
I’m also not too strict on the idea of integrating psychology into the essay, and in fact I would rather it be included in minimal amounts because I would like to write about that more in my supplementals.
Thank you 🙂
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