Instead of telling the reader what you are going to do, the thesis should state exactly what the findings of the analysis are. What is the answer? What have you found in the comparing of their ideologies, styles, and arguments concerning feminism?

This paper was done by a top writer but I had a very low grade on the rough draft and I would like to use the same essay information for the final draft including some of the sources. Here are the professor’s comments:
1) Hook is unacceptable
2)topic sentence is missing
2) do not begin a sentence with a quotation,
3) use direct quotes and introduce the source (no paraphrasing)
4)refer to the author by the name rather than pronouns
5) quotes should not be main idea of the sentence
6)Transitions words are missing in body paragraphs
7) The overarching idea in the conclusion paragraph is weak
8) Overall ideas are not supported in effective manner.

Instead of telling the reader what you are going to do, the thesis should state exactly what the findings of the analysis are. What is the answer? What have you found in the comparing of their ideologies, styles, and arguments concerning feminism?

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