Please respond to the two classmates posts. This is the post that you completed in order # 780537. Below are some guidelines as stated by the instructor. They only need to be about a paragraph or so for each classmate. In this assignment, the writer needs to respond to each classmate, about a paragraph each. For example, something along the lines of……. Annabelle, great post…..I agree with, or I dont agree with and why etc
A substantive response to your peer does the following…
Advances the discussion of a topicsays something new
Demonstrates creative and original thought
Provides reasons for a perspectivee.g. if it is agreeing or disagreeing with the assessment, it explains why
Cites evidence (e.g., from the text, lecture, personal experience)
Is courteous (e.g., demonstrates respectful disagreement)
Is professional (you do not need to be excessively formal, but avoid spelling and grammar errors)
Classmate #1 (MJ Manning)
The theory of love is comprised of intimacy, passion, decision and commitment. All components are equally important in a relationship. Intimacy refers to bonding, closeness, connection, and warmth people experience and feel when they love someone. Passion relates to physical attractions, desires, feelings, and sexual appeal towards an individual. Commitment represents acknowledgeable and willingness individual agree to in the relationship which includes support, time and effort to ensure the relationship is stable. These fundamental interact in different ways that results to various types of love s described by Sternberg Triangle of love.
Romantic Love individuals assume they will be a part of each other life for an extended unprescribed amount of time and include sexual feelings
Compassionate Love towards an individual has intimacy and commitment
Eros relationship with passion and intimacy, intense love where early disclosure exists and the possibly of quick falling in love period may exist as well as physical love
Storage involves empathy and affection, compassionate love that grows from friendship and relationship is usually stable.
Ludus Love is seen as a game and true commitment is avoided and relationship is more of an adventure and mystery.
Types of love described consist of nonlove which is casual relationship such as daily interaction and relationship we encounter with classmates and others with no involvement of love. Liking is more of a friend relationship, where passions and commitment is not present but closeness, bond and warmth towards others are. Infatuation- the relationship has passion, but it lacks intimacy and decision/commitment. This love grows fast but does not allow enough time for commitment to grow or develop. Empty love occurs in long-term relationships where the couple lost feelings for one another and decision/commitment exists, but the relationship lacks intimacy and passion.
Thus, I believe love at first sight experience is possible, but it may not last because it happens so fast and does not allow time for growth and development. Love at first sight fits in the category of eros and infatuation. The individual experience increased heart rate when they see the individual, and palpitations of heart. Also, the person feels strongly passionate an intense desire to be with the person intimately and they have a physical attraction.
The two relational strategies I enacted in my relationships was understanding and assurances. I communicated or interacted with my mom and a friend at school because I would like to enhance the relationship that I have with both and improve communications because it is important to me. I admitted to them that I realize I was withdrawn at times and not actively engaging myself and being responsive when we talk. I [participated in self-disclosure admitting that I had not been putting forth the effort they deserved but my intention was to change and improve communication by being more open. I am usually very quiet and process stuff internally and that is not always good because people around me do not always know how I feel and it makes it difficult for them know when or if I need them to offer support if needed. I assured them that I was willing to sacrifice and put their feelings before mine to ensure a more committed and rewarding relationship going forward with interactive communication.
The responses from both my friend and my mother were positive and my friend expressed her gratitude that I noticed the need for the change and my mother was happy I thought about enough to make the change. I think this act enhance my relationship with both and strengthened our relationship in a way that was needed.
The five stages od Ducks deterioration process are:
Intrapsychic phase The person begins to measure their cost and benefits while trying to decide if it is worth it stay in the relationship. They feel dissatisfied and start to feel like they just cant take it anymore. They closeness they once had declines and there are lapses in joint activities and acts of consideration in the relationship
Dyadic phase The dissatisfied partner confronts the other partner about their feeling and issues they are experiencing and that is when the breakup occurs. Also, the established patterns, rules, and rituals that made up the relational culture experiences a breakdown.
Social Support Telling outsiders the relationship is ending and this occurs when they are looking for help from others to get through the relationship breakdown. This makes it hard for them to reconcile because now outsiders are aware of the issues.
Grave dressing- The partners try to put more of the blame on the other partners to minimize their own faults and make themself look good. They bury the relationship and accept that it has come to a close.
Resurrection They move past the pain of the breakup and began to accept or search for new experiences. The two former partners live independent lives from one another.
I do not totally agree with the critics, while breaking up and ending a long-term relationship is complex and not simple at all, some if the steps could be helpful when it occurs. When the dissatisfied person begins to feel unhappy and discloses it to the other partner, there could be a chance for them to communicate and try to salvage the relationship if it is worth. I believe there could be a chance for individuals relationship until they seek social support. Sometimes when outsiders get in the middle of a couples business, the situation can get worse and make it hard for them to recover.
Classmate #2 (Molly Glus)
1. The four types of love under Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love are romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and consummate love. Romantic love occurs when you have a high degree of passionate intimacy, but the decision to remain together may not be feasible. Companionate love can be described as having high intimacy and high commitment, but a lack of passionate. In this love, passion is quick and the first to fade. This is also typically the case for long-term relationships. In fatuous love, intimacy is low. This type of love occurs in “whirlwind” relationships, when partners marry and commit quickly with very little information. Consummate love is the optimal relationship to achieve in Western society in terms of romantic relationships. Intimacy, passion and commitment are all present. Consummate love is the type of love that many people see. However, it is easy to do for a while but hard to maintain over time.
Based on Sternberg’s model, I think it would be reasonable to believe that Sternberg would believe in love and first sight. Based on his model that relates the types of love to characteristics passion, intimacy, and commitment, love at first sight closely resembles companionate love. This type of love involves when people commit quickly with little information. The passion is quick and fades quickly, which happens often in situations of “love at first sight.”
2. My boyfriend and I go to school about two hours away from each other, as he is a student-athlete on scholarship. Because we are tackling long-distance on top of navigating his busy schedule, I have worked on enacting relational maintenance strategies like these for our entire relationship. The first strategy I sought to enhance was my willingness to sacrifice. Before we started dating, I was able to solely prioritize myself and my friendships at school. I chose what I did every weekend and could do whatever I wanted. I utilize the willingness to sacrifice strategy by setting time to visit him when he has games or scrimmages, and dividing up my time between my friends at school and visiting and supporting him. I sacrifice some of my remaining time as a senior at UA to support him and show how much I love and care for him. If I didn’t support him the way he deserves, the relationship would likely end. A second strategy I have enacted is developing ritual. As I mentioned above, we have a good system in place of visitng each other every other weekend according to our own personal schedules. We also utilize rituals by showing typical routines of affection like kisses, hugs, and handholding when we are together. When we are together, we have a routine of doing mundane activities like going to get dinner or drinks. These strategies definitely maintained and enhanced our relationship. If these strategies weren’t in place, our relationship would not be healthy and wouldn’t have the ability to progress that it does now.
3. The first phase of Duck’s relational dissolution model is breakdown. Breakdown is the pre-phase when the person becomes dissatisfied with the relationship. During this phase, it is likely to see someone say something along the lines of “I can’t take this anymore.” Then, the intrapsychic phase involves the rumination on the negative aspects of the relationship. This stage emphasizes the simple awareness that the person is dissatisfied in their relationship, as well as contemplating why you are having those feelings. You begin evaluating your partner’s strengths and weaknesses, and examining in increased detail the negative aspects of being in that relationship. An important aspect of this phase is that communication with your partner has not begun. The dyadic phase involves confronting your partner with your dissatisfied feelings toward your relationship. This stage is pivotal, as it requires the couple to determine whether they are going to end the relationship or stay committed. The social phase occurs if the two people in the relationship don’t agree to fix the relationship. If the decision is to terminate the relationship, both parties may seek support from their social circles. The fifth stage, the grave-dressing stage, involves evaluating and making sense of the relationship. You will evaluate your previous partner’s characteristics and determine what you want and don’t want in your future partner. The last phase is resurrection, the post-phase where the people will re-enter the dating pool and begin new relationships. This involves both parties being open to explore new partners and opportunities for a relationship.
I disagree with critics who claim that Duck’s relational model is to simplistic to accurately capture the dissolution of a relationship. This phase accurately displays the internal struggles that people deal with in relationships, and demonstrates the progression of members of the relationship discussing these issues and either working through them or ending the relationship. The one stage that I felt best displayed the accuracy of Duck’s model was the social phase. After you confront your partner with some issues you have, you seek support from friends to cope with whatever decision you made with your partner, whether to work on the relationship or end it. I felt like this model most accuartely walked through the phases of relationship struggles.
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